let's talk.

My computer has become an invaluable part of my existence. It is the way I communicate with the world. My conversations with friends have been replaced with long drawn out emails. Each time I call my mother she cries...Because she misses me, which makes me feel special. But I don't have a phone. I hear her tears through the speakers of my little black laptop. Even communication with the people in my life here in Cheonan happens via computer and Internet technology. Without it, I would probably crawl in a worm hole and die. Without it, I would feel even more disconnected than I already do. Without it, I would feel very, very alone. The computer talk helps.

The rest of the talking happens rather primitively. It's to myself. Many days, I don't actually open my mouth until around three in the afternoon. While sitting at my newly acquired table just a moment ago, picking through the mushrooms in my make-shift spaghetti, I was just telling myself, with conviction, to not be bothered by the presence of the fungi. "They have as much of a right to exist as you do, Meredith. It's not their fault the makers of this packaged spaghetti nonsense felt it necessary to include them in their recipe. They did not ASK to be dried and paired with the corn and basil in a little plastic pouch." And you know something? While ingesting the remaining mushrooms, I avoided the always possible gag reflexes that always risk rising to the surface. Talking to myself helps.

I took this picture WITH my computer while sitting at my table, talking to myself, eating my mushroom filled spaghetti, moments before my current one sided conversation with you.