Sharp curves in the road.

I am here in my living room, on the internet, typing on my black macbook. Not air. I have been going through emails and deleting some I have held onto, because I like to let go of things. It's cathartic. And I found this email that I had sent to myself to save something I wrote. It's not good. That's not why I am posting it. I am posting it because of sentence eight. You can read through and try to figure out which sentence is sentence eight, or I can just tell you. Sentence eight: "I have in my head the way the rest of my years will likely look, though that usually doesn't end up happening, and I welcome sharp curves in the road." You can read the rest below, but don't feel guilty about skipping over it. I am moving onto the third paragraph.

"I would like a jet and a pilots license and enough money for fuel so that I could jump on it and escape on those days where I don't relly want to face the realty of me and would rather pretend or live vicariously through someone somewhere exotic...oh, and also, I would like to be able to visit the people I love on a whim...I will not work for someone else the rest of my life. I don't think it makes a lot of sense to have to ask someone elses permission to visit family when they are in need, and "the company's well being or funcionability in my absense" matters little to me...it's just paper (insert desired company product) and climbing someone elses ladder is entirely unappetizing. That's just me. I appreciate my family the farther along in this journey I go. I remember people telling me that is what happens when you get older, but I though I would bypass that step. The idea of family and what it has the potential to be is pretty incredible. This year has flown by faster than any of my life. I have in my head the way the rest of my years will likely look, though that usually doesn't end up happening, and I welcome sharp curves in the road...I have never been comfortable referring to other girls as "girlie" or "chick-a-dee" or "darlin" or "cutie" and I never really needed another girl to go to the bathroom with me."

Eek! I am not going to elaborate too much on this, but I have been wavering. And I think too often about what I will possibly regret in regards to what choices I make for my future, regardless of what I choose. And the point of all of the above is that I said, on September the ninth of two-thousand and six, that I welcome "sharp curves in the road". And I did indeed say that. And the possibility that I am pursuing would definitely be considered a sharp curve in the road. My sincere thought is that it is unlikely I will be able to say with confidence that I made the RiGht decision until much further down the road, when I look back and have meaningful, live giving, mind challenging, experiences to draw from. And that is the reality I face.