Monday, February 4, 2008

orderlessness

In celebration of (one of) my roommates’ birthday (that is actually today), I ate Indian food on Saturday...(thought much of you, the Fila's, if you're reading this)...and it was amazingly delicious. I nearly cried. And I went glow bowling. Is there a combination of activities that surpasses the greatness of
Indian food and glow bowling? I do not think so. I had no idea. And so, to document this evening, and in celebration of Tonia's loveliness, my thoughts and takings from a night of fun...some that were jotted down on the very chairs that my bum sat on during our bowling fun, while wearing the timelessly fashionable bowling shoes, with glowing white shoe strings. I am also going to divide my sentences with a semi-colon, even though the semi-colon is not grammatically correct. It is a choice to go against the grammatical constraints set on me by the English language, and because strings of semi-coloned sentences have shown themselves to me, and I have determined that they are good.

Writing on paper being lit by a black light is one of my new favorite things; bowling while listening to sexy back (by justin timerlake) - no words; the life of tonia, the love and acceptance that emanates from her, makes wanting her to be a part of my life inevitable; low point of the evening - the obnoxious interpretive dancing I was doing to ice ice baby (by vanilla ice) that caused my arm to fly into Tonia's margarita and nearly knock it out of her hand, leaving approximately three ounces of tequila and lime and simple syrup on the bowling alley floor; higher point was bowling a spare the last frame of my game, gaining me another bowl, in which I bowled my one and only strike of the evening; lingering low point(s) was/were the curry flavored burp(s) that happened more frequently that I would have liked;

And for a change, the periods will return. Because I have an innate need to be understood, which is probably why I tend to be wordy and thorough, and fail to answer simple questions with simple answers, I will tell you of what is new, situationally, in my life. My last day at apple is the 24th. I have officially sold the computer that I am typing on now for a sum of money to my roommate tonia so that I can purchase a macbook, something wonderful I can take away from my time at apple. my car has been paid off, meaning that the only bill I shall have to pay after leaving the country will be my student loan payment. my dog ran away, last month, meaning I have nothing that breathes to take care of other than myself. Sadness surrounding her departure, but perhaps it is one of those crazy sad selfishly convenient events that was, and this is something I do not type with confidence, meant to be. It is my plan in life to move to Korea around the month of May to teach English, to (more than likely) Korean children...something I have alluded to in previous posts but not actually typed out. My passport came in the mail last week. Still feverishly searching for my college diploma. Please appeal to God on my behalf that I find it.

I had a few situations this weekend that brought to the surface the things I wil be leaving behind. I started to type them out, but they were too sappy. So I erased it. And instead, I will say, I am leaving behind a lot of really great people, in the physical sense. But to say that I am taking them out of my life would be a lie, and without them, their support, I would not have the confidence and drive to make such a life altering decision. And when I sit and think about the possibilities of what my life will look like in a few months time, challenges included, I get really excited. And if I was leaving a season for a new one, and had nothing to be sad about, that is where real sadness would reside. Enough about that. Hooray to moving forward in life, to change, and to being challenged, and hooray to always having amazing people in my life, regardless of my zip code. And hooray to closed chapters and possibilities, because of the reality that things don't always work out in the ways we had hoped they would, and yet we can still go on living, fully.

And I will say...this does not have to make sense to you, the reader. But despite of how wonderful last week was, despite all of the great times I had, and all of the wonderful relationships I will be leaving behind in the physical, it honestly felt like one of the longest weeks of my life.

In closing, for you, a quote...hope it greets your soul in the same way that it greeted mine...

"It was a fine autumn day, really, and the air through the open windows smelled like life."
Jesse Ball

1 comment:

Esther said...

hooray! the news is out! Besides preparing, what will you be doing in the months of Mar & Apr? Is your friend going too? I am so CRAZY happy for you!!!!!!!