vino.

I remember sitting in my friend Brandi's kitchen in high school, munching on pizza. It was a fun place to be at the moment, but my overall feeling of high school was in such contrast. I was the thirty-two year old sixteen year old. I hung out with adults, and was in the kitchen with the parents at most parties, talking about peer pressure, mistakes and bad choices being made by others. I was pious too. I think my dad called it "uptight".

Sitting at Brandi's wooden kitchen, chewing on pepperoni, I remember her mother saying that (her) "high school years were the best of her life, and we shouldn't rush ourselves out of them as we will look back on them with fondness and longing someday"...

choke. on. pepperoni.

"My God," I thought, "that may be the most depressing thing I have ever heard come out of such an intelligent beings mouth. If this is as good as it gets, I am going to quit now."

I didn't believe her. I kept going. College (not some of my best years, though I made the best kinds of friends)...and going...Florida (Yikes. Not some of my best years, and didn't make any friends at all) and going...Living at home (not recommended for anyone that has already left home...necessary sometimes, just not recommended)...and going (house with a front porch and wonderful roommates - porch itself surpasses all four years of high school)...and going (South Korea, oh man, not adequate words as to how much better than high school it was)...and going, backwards, this time (to Tulsa, briefly homeless...still better than high school)...to now.

I am thinking of all of this because of the marker we just passed; January one. The evening before is referred to as "New Year's Eve". This is a holiday, and one that I would liken to High School. Very anti-climactic.

Every. Single. Year...Wrought with expectation, build up, and disappointment.

So back "to now", and this idea that things can get better with time, as opposed to worse.

NYE 2009. I worked, for the first NYE of my life. That was kind of like going to my Junior prom alone. But, I made quite a bit of money in tips. That was kind of like the dress I wore to my Junior prom alone. It was stunning. And then I left work, put on my smokin' hot blue dress, and picked up Melinda. We went to where her boyfriend was, and three other couples that were smoking. This is how I rang in the new year, quite similar to going to my Senior Prom alone, and watching the boy I had a crush on dance with his date, having not danced with anyone the entire night, while wearing a dress that was less than stunning.

Leaving was the best part, kind of like graduation.

Arriving at the Marquee, where people were dancing, was full of promise, kind of like the rest of my life. The song that was playing was awful, kind of like the bad stuff in the middle of good seasons that we all have to wade through. The next song beckoned me, and my blue dress, onto the dance floor. I remained there for the next two hours, and left with a massive sweat stain on my no longer smokin' hot blue dress.

Let's not have any of this, "[insert section of one's past] were the best years of my life". That's what I like to think of as bull-shit. The other side of the coin says things can get better, and better, and better, as the years go by. This is truth to me.