some sun.

Some nights are chalked full of fun. Tonight, for example, I am eating dinner with my dearest cousin, making coffee for a few hours at brown shades, and then coercing my janky ankle into dancing the night away. There will be ample endeavors to occupy my time.

Time occupation. Though time often turns out to be so much more, on some evenings the first two sentences of this paragraph is what it turns out to be. Me, and also, me, finding ways to pass the time. There are always books, but sometimes I begin to read the wrong ones. There are always movies, but lately I have been too lazy and cold to venture over to that place where people rent them. There is the internet, namely Facebook, but the amount spent on that "social community" can veer very close to the line of unhealthy. There is writing, but not usually four hours worth.

Last night the pastime that helped me pass some time: cleaning out my email's inbox. I also cleaned up my apartment a little, vowing to hang things up after removing them from my person, instead of flinging them across my couch, or leaving my pants in a solo pile on the floor. Back to the inbox, a space as cluttered as my room. As I began to click, delete, click, delete, click, delete, oops, undo, click, save, click delete...I was reminded how full my life really is.

I love the task of driving during sunrise. There is a sky in front of you, and a completely different one in your rearview mirror. This morning it was the same sky, the same space, but in front of me was a gradation of yellows to orange to pink to blue. As I glanced at my side view mirror to change lanes, all I saw was the lingering semi-darkness of night, a true blue on it's way to something brighter.

My inbox took me to someplace brighter. There was a note from a friend that ate a chicken salad sandwich, thought of me, and wrote to inquire, a song gift from another, as the song's words brought me to her mind, a statement reaffirming a fun conversation from his highness in LA, and thoughtful exchanges from my best Tulsa friend, despite the fact that we see each other most days. Devi encouraged my writing and my gingerbread house crafting skills, costume encouragements from a friend in India, and another around the Bend, words of love from brand new friends, and words of kindness from the oldest and best kind.

My hope is that the probable cheesiness I mentioned above won't leave you feeling greasy, but rather, will remind you to think about the people that bring joy to your world, the people that know you and still love, support and encourage you. The previous evening, in all of my solitude, after eating take-out alone, it would have been easy for to have fallen asleep with a grease stain kind of feeling, focused on the lingering darkness in my rearview mirror. But after thinking of the sweet and delightful people in my life that are here, even if they weren't physically there, I entered my evening's slumber with a sunrise stain on my day.