springtime

10:08pm
I am sitting in the corner, hearing hint of music playing in the distance, the laughter of three high school age girls above anything else, the unescapeable talk of what book of the Bible the two gentleman in the corner should lead a study on...

I arrived at job #2 today at nine this morning. I was not scheduled to work, but I am saving mula for a computer, so jumped at the opportunity to spend nine hours working on my day off. When I arrived, I quickly jumped to check my email, hoping for something to read, to draw from, that would -help- get me through my day. In the stark and bright white room I was sitting, hurrying in, I heard the alarm going off in the distance, my manager on the telephone with an unhappy customer trying to smooth over some dismal situation, my eyes staring at silver like cards with our companies new initiative printed in white on the front...and it was as if all of the happenings going on around me were a chaotic symphony of truth, painfully reminding me that this is a big portion of my life's reality.

10:18
The boys are still in the corner deciding on how to teach, the rotation to be determined. The laughter has subsided, the girls have become more calm, and bundling up to leave. With the giggles disappearing, the music is more pronounced. A new conversation, with an awkward boy and a hopeful girl...potential for a budding relationship, her attempt to flirt, to let him know, without letting him know too much. She is being clever, and witty...a little giggle, effective...letting him know he's funny...hmmm...

And I am not complaining, because I consciously made the choices to get me to my current reality. And good things have come from my two dead end jobs. And the current consequences are worth whatever I have received.

10:24pm
they turned the music up. I know more about the funny boy...he's from Boston, here with 24/7 prayer, and interesting conservative libertarian named Bob has been added to the flirting couples exchange...sad girl alone at the table to my right...glad the music is louder...

And now that I have mentioned the bleakness in my current job situation, I will share the hope...the sweet trimmings...I enjoy -most- of the people I work with. And at job #2, I made the decision today to look and see all of the people I get to work with, as opposed to those I do not. The Dwight from the Office double that is for sure socially awkward and doesn't have that chip in him to let him know when not to bring something up in a public conversation. He usually creeps me a little, but more than that, he makes me laugh because of all that he is, and he kindly got me a mini chocolate chip cookie today from Mrs. Fields. He scored points, and reminded me to look at the positives.

10:33PM they have turned the lights down a little, and interesting conversation in the other corner has began...on the boundaries of physical flirting...

Speaking of physical flirting...my soccer player eye candy came in the store again today. That was a fun few hours. I hope his computer breaks a few more times. And now that I am on a roll with the positives, I will mention the most positive of all, the truth that gets me through. I have an alternative...I can sit through long and extremely boring and/or meaninless meetings...I can endure a day of work on my day off delivering disappointing news to people that are already pissed off at me before they walk in the door, I can funnel phone calls from people asking questions I don't know the answer to, I can painfully push a companie's initiative because I have been asked to...because, once gain, I have an alternative. Because I have made a decision to embrace change, comfortably refusing to ignore my ideals, working at t job that won't be all enjoyable all the time, but will be something I can believe in at the end of the day..a job that will be engulfed in lovely simplicity and adventureous distractions. Sigh of relief, excitement, thankfulness. And so, knowing the current reality is just that; my current reality. Knowing that it won't be my future's reality. Sigh of relief, excitement, thankfulness.

10:50pm
Same corner, pause in the music, it begins again...a song I don't like...good time to leave...and one more thing...I think the potentially budding couple likes each other...as in...he likes her and she him...it's sweet...now, it's time to leave...