A fast of sorts

I mentioned this in my last post, but I went to hear Elizabeth Gilbert at Barnes and Noble do a reading from her book Eat Pray Love. She is a writer. I would like to be a writer. So I asked her what she did to get started writing. Do you know what she told me? She wrote. She just read a lot of books and wrote a lot of stuff. She also said that a desire to write isn't a huge jump away from the love of reading. I agreed. She took a few writing classes in college, but nothing substantial. She simply always had a pen in her hand and just went for it. Enter Blog.

It is the season of Lent. This week we experienced Ash Wednesday. I love these rituals and traditions, bringing me calmly and methodically back to the faith that gets clouded in the questions. I have always held these things to be kind of private, something you decide between God and yourself, and share only when asked, and possibly not even then. But I am taking a different approach this year. I know, more than anything, I want to be at a place in life where I can celebrate myself and the person God created me to be...to not just be content with myself, but really happy with myself. I want freedom and peace, to be who I am without worry or shame. I have this idea in my head that "if only I did a, b, or c" I would be a likeable person, I would be ok with myself, if only I met those challenges. So for Lent, I am going to give up those challenges in an attempt to transition that lie of thinking to a healthier view point. I am going to fast from dietary restrictions. Anything goes. I have not lived like that since I was about 12...there are always forbidden foods, foods that if I eat, I have failed and have to pick myself up off the ground to start over. Because of this, the idea of eating as a pleasure has left my senses. Gone. Completely. So, in this time of lent, when I am supposed to be relating to Jesus suffering on the cross, I will be struggling though it all with onion rings from Sonic and, dare I say it, a hamburger. I am aware of the fact that I may put on a few pounds. I can handle it, becuase they will be pounds I earned with pleasure and intention...not in secret or desparation. And it isn't forever...just until Easter. That doesn't mean I am opening to doors to stuffing myself...I am not going to eat more than I should, I just have a lot more options to choose from now. It will be interesting to see what I learn...and how I grow (ha ha)...I will keep you posted.