at ease in the uneasy.

Outside, the sky is a soft gray. At first it looks colorless, until you catch a glimpse of the outline of the green green trees. Then the soft blues greet you, subtly. This is, to me, a most beautiful day. There are no storm clouds, but the smell and the cool keep you from gaining assurance in your dryness. At any moment, you could become a sponge, dripping with wet from the water that surprised you from the sky. This, to me, is a most beautiful thought.

I tried to explain to a friend once that I find comfort in the unpredictable. I remember being in Korea, in a shopping spot alone with no cellular telephone or knowledge of the Korean language. No one knew I was there, and I had no tangible way of contacting any of those people unaware of my whereabouts. It was eery, a bit, but mostly comforting. The feeling of aloneness in a foreign place makes me feel more connected to all of the people inhabiting this great big world. It reminds me that, at times, we all feel a little alone. It's not always sunshine and cookie dough. This is true, to me, and reality brings me comfort.

Unpredictability is what makes life a little scary. It also makes life a little more fun. Yesterday, when I entered the men's restroom at work to clean the nasty toilets, I didn't know I would be greeted with someone else's poop. I have cleaned the restrooms many times, poop free. But yesterday, I found myself wiping someone else's fecal matter off of the porcelain white stool. This does not fit into the unpredictably fun category, but rather, the unpredictably scary. But last week, during a shift when I didn't have to clean the toilets, I offered two men touring with Britney Spears a ride to the place we were both going. We spent the afternoon together, and by the end of the day, I had befriended a professional photographer to the stars, a stunt man from Manchester, a hula hoop girl that used to be a part of the circus, and an of age knife thrower and flip connoisseur. I was also, ironically, gifted tickets to their ring leader's performance, which means I spent last Tuesday evening watching my new friends do their act on stage, while Britney Spear's lip synched her new music to her fans surrounding me. This would be the unpredictably fun.

It's still blue-gray outside. The sun, unpredictably, broke open the gray throughout the course of me typing this, but has since gone back in. Here in the midst of unpredictable skies, I am looking forward to the unknown of today.