After arriving on familiar soil, my need for anonymity became greater. Mostly, I think, I didn't want rich and invasive eyes to have open ended exposure to my trial and error approach to life. I gave in to this craving; Facebook was de-activated and Twitter abandoned once again.
Less time perusing through the lives of people I barely knew, I reasoned, would give me more time to write! Nearly two months later, I have posted one blog post that spans all of thirteen sentences. My brilliant anonymous plan failed the writer within.
Did you notice, though, that it's a new year? And, also, by the way, my absence has given me ample time to reflect.
There are people out there that tell me I think too much, and furthermore, that I think from too many angles about too many aspects of too many things. I disagree. They don't, and that's cool. But it's this part of me that births the things I enjoy writing about, and the things I enjoy sharing with those that read here. It's the time I have had for reflection that has brought me back here, nearly one month since my last marked visit. And I have things to share.
Here on this page, my main point revolves around the not knowing. It's rooted in doubt, this thing we're always cautioned to avoid. Believe! There's more life there, they say. I look at my life, the steps I have taken, and how they have stretched and challenged me. The times I have felt the most dead have been the times enveloped in a need to know.
Mostly, I don't. I have relinquished, at least for now, the pressure to figure out. Life has gotten brighter as of late. Peace and doubt can co-exist. The turkey chili I made for dinner was for sure delicious. I will fall asleep to the echo of the blues being played by newly acquired ultra living-compatible roommate. It's good to be back, in a multitude of ways.
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