bagel lessons.

Yesterday I toasted my bagel too long. I usually use the right side of the dually-toastable toaster, which, I feel, matches my bagel toasty desires quite well. For whatever unknowable reason, on Monday the first of March, I put my wheat bagel into the left side, with the same amount of concern and trust I usually give to the previously mentioned right side. This means I don't check it often, and when it pops up and makes the quaint springy noise, I usually have to push it down again. So, I payed little attention, and I waited for the springy noise. I was also talking about deep life issues with Garth, which aided to my inattention. And when my round bread-y breakfast sprung up, after baking against the hot wires too long, it was appropriately too crispy. I like there to still be a good amount of chewiness with a bit of golden brown around the edges so that there is a combination of texture experiences going on in my mouth at the same time. There was but one experience with this here Monday bagel: crunch, crunch, more crunch, and then crunch.

Tuesday March second presented even more potential bagel woes. I arrived before the other guy. I was clearly in line, and had already ordered my americano. Barista clearly said, "Meredith, can I get you something to eat?" The other guy, the one that came in after me, answered, "bagel". "Um, excuse me sir. He was talking to me," I said. Okay. Not really. I didn't say that. I just thought it. So what's the potential woe, you may be pondering? We both clearly wanted a bagel, as we both clearly said bagel at the exact same time. He probably wanted to jinx me. Potential woe: There was one wheat bagel and two raisin bagels. We both wanted wheat. He acted as though he didn't care. I also did. Who was going to be the bad guy? Me. I pushed myself, choosing something I wanted less over something I wanted more. And then I put it into the right slot of the toaster with a watchful eye. It was an ideal toast, and it turned out that I was quite happy with raisin on a Tuesday, and didn't feel like I was missing anything at all.

Monday bagel was a weighty breakfast. With each crunch, I was reminded that there are so often things in life that we want and also, cannot have. Tuesday's was much lighter. The toast was faintly golden, and with each chewy-crunch, I was reminded that sometimes, life offers raisin like surprises, and what I think are the left-overs or second rate outcomes actually provide the feelings that have been coveted for quite some time.