supernova.

Walking down the sidewalk on a cement colored day, butterflies began to cluster in my stomach. I hadn't felt their flutter in quite some time, so their arrival caught me off guard. And then I welcomed them, and told the beautiful creatures to make themselves at home, because of what they were ushering in. A change.

I grabbed handle of the door I was about to open with a smile on my face, a twinge of nervousness, and then I jumped in. "This is where that goes and over here is where that is," they told me. "When you take this out sprinkle this on top, and when you're out of that go over there to get it"...

My station was a tiny square...a beverage square. Facing the ice and assorted sodas were the multi-colored bottles of alcohol; the coffee and it's silver king faced the door. Bodies were in and out, dancing around each other in efficiency and grace; no glasses were broken.

The previous night I had arrived at the venue for a show a few minutes early. The venue was a bar, people drinking, and talking, drinking more and talking louder. I was waiting for my friends to arrive on the hearth of the fireplace, out of sight from the rest of the crowd. I managed to blend in with the brick surface beneath me, and spend those few minutes of solitude observing the crowd dispersed outside of my personal space. I marveled at the fun time they all seemed to be having, and wondered how much of it was alcohol induced. I watched the tenders behind the bar do the same efficient graceful dance I mentioned above. I heard the fire cracking behind me, and I felt its warmth separating me from the cold that was separating me from the people...All to the words of Oasis,

Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cJauX_q6wI

This memorable moment solidified me as an outsider in this place, furthering the already looming desire to move, forward, elsewhere. Not because where I am is bad; but here, the want for doing the things I am doing has left me. What remains is a joyful outsider, eager to see what's outside, away from the crowd and the fireplace.

Standing in the beverage station the following day, today, were the sounds of the steam wand heating and foaming milk, the crash of metal to ice, filling up glasses, and then the words to the song that had filled my head the night before...I started to humm and then sing...

Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky

As the cork was being removed from the bubbly, and poured into a flute, joining the orange juice for a mimosa.

Cheers to change, however small it is. The small changes remind me just how much I enjoy the butterflies. Someday soon, you will find me somewhere else.