I just finished Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott. I swear, her talent for writing truth about life and faith is a part of her DNA code...it's like she has perfectly written little paragraphs floating through the blood in her veins. That sounds a little morbid, but I believe it. I always feel more hope after finishing something she has written...it's like she has subtly sprinkled it with magic fairy dust that is invisible to the naked eye, and that you can't see when you are in the midst of it, but when you close the book to move onto something else, like say laundry, you just feel more optimistic about your lot in life and more optimistic about who God is. This is what one would call a recommendation.
I think I could post about her writing for a year and not run out of inspiring material...but I won't, because it would be more beneficial for one to just go out and read something she wrote, instead of my take on something she wrote. But I want to write about something...she is writing about taking things day by day, and about what you do when you need to forgive someone (her mother) or someone else (president Bush), and she says she is going to go for a walk to the library, because the library "makes her think kindly of her mother" and that she has "found sanctuary in libraries" her whole life...the line that struck me about her walk to the library goes like this..."I am not sure if this will lead me directly to the soupcon of forgiveness, but you never know. You take action, and the insight follows". I love how that helps the steps that I am taking in my own life...my last post was about the wrong equation most of us live by. Key for me was the realization that I can't just change it all on my own, that I have to open myself up to being transformed by God (there is quote in the book from Anne's pastor that says that much more eloquently than I did...pg 225 if you want to look it up)...but on the other side of that is the work that I do have to do...that He is probably not going to reach down and wave His magic God wand and transform into truth every false lie that I have always believed, ensuring that I will never have to look back or fall back into the ditch. I wonder how I change it, how do I stop the negativity, the self deprecation, stop the thoughts that drift in out of nowhere, while I am folding clothes or filling someone's cup of coffee, or starting my car? "You take action, and the insight follows." So lately, I have been asking myself this question...If I really was excited about my person, if I was thrilled with God's decisions in making me who I am, what would I do, what would I wear, who would I call, what would I eat? What actions would I take that would help the healthy insight about myself follow? Well, I would not wear a sweatshirt and jeans every day to hide each "flaw" that resides underneath and I would accept a friends invitation to meet for coffee even if she hasn't seen me since I gained this last ten pounds and I wouldn't eat a cookie every time I felt alone or tired or loathsome. Nor would I keep myself from ever eating a cookie. So I am praying that God would help transform my heart's feeling about me, and letting Him know I believe He can. And I am putting on my cute khaki board shorts with the button on the bottom and going to work.
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