Sunday, August 28, 2011

farewell trip.

I am away from normal life right now, living and breathing Northern air.

Before leaving the part of the united states that can't be effectively characterized (south? midwest? west? southwest?), I wondered how to characterize my temporary exit.

Because of various life epiphanies that I will elaborate on further in the future, I am abnormally crazy about my current place on earth. I'm usually pretty content, so this isn't too far from the pre-epiphany norm. But so many mundane aspects of life are incredibly beautiful, and the muck of discontentment lifted, as of late, just enough for me to see the beauty more clearly. All that momentum to say, I didn't need a vacation, and this is part of the epiphany.

I want to cultivate for myself an existence that doesn't beg for an escape.

So this Northern air that I am breathing isn't a vacation. It's just kind of a trip, and no matter how in love with the present I become throughout my life, I will always welcome new landscapes.

Another part of the epiphany is the value of the people in our lives, and it's two people in particular that motivated this trip for me. Over the course of the past three years, we have spent time investing in each others' lives, and they have taken care of me in the moments I was unaware I even needed care. They are a couple, so technically I am the odd one out, though it's never been that way. They've let me crash their Valentine's Day dinners, we cooked vegetarian Thanksgiving dinner together this past year, and the layered moments of every day life that I constantly tried to remind myself to not take for granted are too many to tell.

I came on this trip to move them away from me. That's what's motivating this new landscape, and the string of days here in a Northern place, and why I will leave with more interesting stories and memories, and also with a real and tangible ache.

1 comment:

Heather said...

"I want to cultivate for myself an existence that doesn't beg for an escape"

This is my current goal. Thanks for putting it so eloquently.